I work with a lot of amazing people. Truly, I am inspired by the men and women I get to serve, and I am struck every time I talk with them how this theme keeps coming up. I suspect it comes up for others as well, so I thought I’d throw it out there.
Last week I was talking with someone and I asked her what would be the worst thing that could happen in the situation she was grappling with (the essence of which was acting in a way that was out of integrity with who she really is in truth because she got caught in old fears and patterns–which we ALL do–and feeling ashamed about that. Ever had that happen? I thought so).
Anyway, Her answer to my question about the worst thing that could happen made me realize something very powerful–so powerful it actually moved me to tears (which doesn’t happen typically when I’m working with someone, misty maybe–but not full on tears). She said the worst thing that could happen was “dying of embarrassment” and I got right it right then, that there is something far worse. It’s dying of fear. It’s being so afraid to live, so afraid to break through the sh*t you’ve carried around for 20, 30, 40 or more years, that you’re slowly dying.
It’s both a physical death and a psychological death, but first and foremost it’s a spiritual death–and since we are spiritual beings having a human experience, it’s got implications we don’t even understand at a soul-level.
What does this death look like? It’s subtle at first…it comes on slowly. It’s “making due” with what you have, never wanting or striving for more because you don’t believe you deserve it really deep down inside. It’s playing small, never pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, thinking that maybe tomorrow will be the day you take some action, but that tomorrow gets pushed out to the next one, and the next one, and so on–until there isn’t one.
It’s believing down deep inside that you are uniquely defective, an aberration, unworthy, and undeserving. It’s feeling ashamed and secretive about who you think you are (the false self), and totally forgetting who you really are (a Divine expression of God, the Universe, Spirit, Source–whatever you personally call it). It is literally turning away from Source and love and defending your fear to the death.
Shame is the lowest vibration feeling there is. It is the lowest form of fear there is. It stems from the belief (which is a thought plus feeling) that we are separate from God and unworthy of the love and support of Source.
It’s believing in lack and limitation and seeing it, speaking of it, all around you instead of experiencing abundance.
It’s being so afraid to really live, that you spend your time dying instead of living.
I have hope and I feel sad in my heart at the same time.
I have hope because of people like my client(s) and others on this path of self-discovery who are searching for truth and releasing the baggage that keeps them small and scared–I see just how powerful a force this LOVE and desire for life and growth is–it’s amazing! And I feel sad, because this is not an easy road, and I see and hear many people walking that road alone–afraid and hopeless, feeling uniquely defective and hiding it at all costs.
Hey you!–the jig is up, you’ve been found out–you can stop hiding, stop acting like someone or something you’re not. Stop being so darn hard on yourself.
You are loved.
If you’re so afraid to live that you’re dying without having done so, know this: you have a choice, right here, right now. You deserve it. Your soul deserves it. You were born to live, so get on with it.
From my heart to yours and sending so much love your way,
Kris
