I was a doormat.
There. I said it.
Out loud.
I was sitting on the doorstep of my dream, flattened by fear and letting the little voices of doubt, shame, guilt, fear, criticism, and judgement keep me from reaching up, turning the handle on the door of my dream, and opening the door to see what was on the other side.
I was afraid to choose the dream that had so obviously chosen me.
I was on the threshold, but not willing to cross it.
It felt just like this picture where I couldn’t reach the door…
In last week’s article I spoke with you about Vision. This week we’ll look at the 2nd aspect we need to align with regarding our Inner VOICE: Ownership.
[This is not easy to write. I find myself editing based on what I think you might think about me. This is one of the ways I know I’m letting the little voices clean their muddy boots on me again.]
“NOT TODAY GUYS. I have a dream and a purpose. Get off my back!”
[You have to stand up for yourself when someone’s walking all over your mind.]
Some ways to tell if you’re a doormat:
- You change your mind frequently.
- You don’t choose and execute, instead you doubt and question yourself and whether or not you can trust.
- Speaking of trust…you don’t. You don’t trust yourself to follow through, you don’t trust Spirit to provide, you don’t trust others to help you or do as good a job as you think you can do.
- You have a ton of excuses, each better than the last; all of them arbitrary.
- You try to control every detail.
- You focus on the how instead of on the vision.
- You enroll others in rescuing you from yourself. In other words, you subconsciously get into conversations that help you avoid taking action on your vision. (If you’re really committed to being a doormat, you do this with people who will buy into your poor me story. That’s why you’re stuck.) This is why I pay my coach, because she doesn’t buy my “poor me BS”. Neither does my husband. Thank God! [but then my Inner Voice asked for that level of support and commitment, didn’t it?]
- You spend inordinate amounts of time cleaning up the stoop and the threshold thinking that if you just get that all perfect you’ll be worthy then to step through the door. [your dream is on the other side, remember? It doesn’t flippin’ care what the stoop looks like. It already loves you and is waiting for you to love it back enough to step into it.]
- You worry what others will think about you.
- You worry no one will show up and play with you in your dream.
- You are afraid of who you’ll leave behind. So you keep holding onto them, even when it’s best for both of you to let go.
- You keep looking at other people’s doorways thinking maybe theirs is better, or that yours isn’t good enough, or valuable enough.
- You’re afraid there’s nothing on the other side of the door. (What if I don’t have a passion/vision/dream??) It’s there. You just can’t see it, most likely for the next reason:
- You let the little voices, or small-minded people in your life, tell you that you’re not good-enough, or that it will never work, or whatever else they say to try to get you to stay put.
Stop playing Ding-Dong Ditch with your dream. Stop ringing the doorbell and then when the door opens, you run.
STOP IT.
Make a decision. What do you want?
How do you want to feel?
What is calling you from the other side of that door??
Get up off the ground, dust yourself off, take a few deep breaths and get 3-D. Grab that handle by the, well….handle 😉 and open the damn door.
It’s your door after all.
Own it.
Love,
Kris
