I am fascinated by what motivates people to make a decision, then ask for accountability, then never follow through.
I was talking to a friend recently, she shared that at a recent speaking event where she was keynoting there were 90 people in the room. She asked people to email her one action they would take in the next 24-48 hours to increase their revenue or build their business in some way. Forty people emailed her with their decision of what action to take, and their commitment to take the action. When she followed up, she heard from ten of those forty, and out of those ten, only one person actually took the action she said she would.
Yikes.
Makes you wonder how the hell anything gets done, doesn’t it?
Got me to thinking about why people would even bother to email in the first place if they never really were committed.
I have a hypothesis. The little voices made them do it.
If you remember, the little voices of fear, doubt, shame, guilt, criticism, judgement, etc. are really just trying to get 3 needs met: love, security, & self-esteem.
Here’s how each shows up subconsciously in the decision/commitment process:
Love:
- I want to be liked (loved) so I’ll say yes and commit myself to this;
- I want people to approve of me, namely the person in authority (i.e., the person presenting at the front of the room or some other leader, perhaps a parent or coach), so I’ll say yes and throw my hat in the ring;
- People who say yes are people who love themselves, so if I say yes, then people will know (and I will know) that I love myself.
Security:
- I want to be safe
- I want to have control
- I want to feel “OK”
- If I don’t say yes now, it will be gone forever
…So, I’ll say yes because I think that if I say yes, I’ll get those things: safety in numbers, more control over myself or my environment, I’ll feel OK because I’m part of the group that said “yes”, I won’t lose out.
Self-Esteem:
- I don’t want to expose myself as being ignorant, or unworthy, or ‘not enough’ so I’ll say yes.
- I want others to think I have it together, so I’ll do what everyone else is doing because it seems to be working for them.
- This is what successful people do, I want to look successful too. I want to see myself as successful so I’ll do it, I’ll say yes.
All of these choices are based in fear. They are based in trying to get love, get security, get self-esteem.
Not only is it ass-backwards, it’s one major reason why people don’t follow through on their yes.
Another big reason, as I’ve mentioned before, is that they don’t know how they are designed to listen and access their Inner Voice, their inner authority, so they keep defaulting to using the mind (which is where the crazy-making little voices live!) to make a decision.
No Bueno.
Next week we’ll look at what energy you must learn to listen to and embody in order to make a decision, a clear decision aligned with your purpose, — aligned with your heart & soul. We will also look at how you can begin doing that right away!
Stay Tuned.
PS, If you suspect you’ve been choosing from one of the “getting” energies above, you’ll really benefit from either the retreat or an Inner Authority Alignment Session. Check them out-I created them just for you.
From My Heart to Yours,
Kris
